Dating Tips for Older People

When we are young, we are hopelessly romantic and starry eyed about our future love lives, with dreams of being swept off our feet by our soul mate and living happily ever after.

Unfortunately, real life then gets in the way and the reality becomes a much more complicated story.

The likelihood is that both of you will come with baggage. This could be previous marriages, bad breakups or children. All these aspects make the already nerve-wracking dating experience even more scary. Don’t worry though; it is possible to have fun, successful dates at any age.

How do I Date Again?

It can feel like it’s been so long since you’ve been on a date that you just wouldn’t know what to do. Luckily it’s just like riding a bike, you automatically remember and if you fall off you just need to get right back on.

OK, you’re not the same person you were back then, when dating seemed like the easiest thing in the world. You are older and wiser. With age comes a certain understanding which can only help you in the uncertain world of dating.

Previous Relationships

Let’s face it, as much as we would like to believe that we are the only person our date has ever been with, it’s just not true. From first loves to nasty divorces, all our previous relationships mould our future and the way we approach new partners. If there is a recent ex, or tricky divorce still lying around then be wary but don’t discount a possible relationship. The best strategy is just to be open and honest about your situation and feelings.

Children

Considering two people’s emotions in a new relationship is hard enough, but when there are children involved on either side it makes things even more difficult. Yes, you need to be aware of the needs of your children, but you also have the right to be happy and fulfilled. Obviously this is more easily said than done and is a constant balancing act, but it is possible. If you don’t have any children but your new date does, you need to be equally sensitive to their decisions.

When introducing dates to your children take it slowly and only consider it when you think the person will be around for a while, so you don’t affect the child’s stability.

New Technology

Email, instant messenger, text messages – what’s wrong with a good old fashioned phone call? All these modern communication methods may seem like jargon to you but they can actually be a great asset to dating. Like a letter, emails and text messages give you time to think about your response and say what you want clearly. Speaking on the phone can be difficult when you are nervous and don’t know someone very well, so use these new methods to take the pressure down a notch or two.

Dating Methods

You might initially associate dating agencies with a desperate last attempt or with people who have no social skills. However, in the past decade, new methods such as online profiles and speed dating have seen this industry boom. It is no longer a last measure but a fun and easy way to meet new people with the same interests as you. There are even agencies that organise specific singles events such as wine tasting or cookery classes where you can learn a new skill at the same time. Think of it as a blind date without the pressure.

So while dating when you are older may be a bit more complicated, it can be just as enjoyable and rewarding as when you were eighteen. Take things slowly, enjoy each other’s company and remember what’s happened in the past doesn’t need to be a blueprint for your future.

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